Conscious Parenting - The benefits to understanding parenting energetics
We hear the word “consciousness” and “intention” thrown around a lot lately. But how can we relate them to parenting? How does it look when we apply the energetics of parenting to our own family unit? You’ll find easy steps you can take today to be more purposeful with your time and parenting choices.
The passage below is from my self published book Energetics of Parenting which you can purchase here.
I hope you have seen that there is benefit in both parenting energetics. We can’t solely be in the masculine, or the feminine. We need a balance between both in order to be effective. When we are parenting effectively through our energetic make up it may look something like a parent who uses their schedule well-child checks with the doctor to ask questions and seek advice that supports their child in being their happiest, healthiest self. A balanced parent reads the parenting books. Rather than taking either of these things as law, checks in with their intuition to weigh the value of the information or how it would be implemented in their life.
An energetically balanced parent sees their child as their greatest teacher and knows they possess the skills and ability to meet their child’s needs intrinsically. The need to buy the products that our children need goes out the window in this parenting style.
In conscious parenting we are parenting not only the physical babe, or tiny human, but their emotional and spiritual bodies as well. An easy example is to think of when you feel your child’s forehead for a fever, or see their rosy cheeks and lack luster attitude. We turn our attention to one of nurturing and take actions to simplify. The same can be done when we are caring for their emotional and spiritual bodies. A disruption to the E/S bodies often looks like overwhelm, emotional outbursts or an internal knowing as a parent that something seems “off”.
When tending to the disruptions of the E/S bodies we first must notice them. For many children this is enough, especially our young children. “What’s the matter sweetheart?” Can go a long way for a tiny human learning what it is to experience and identify different emotions. Sometimes just noticing them is enough. Oftentimes the first symptoms go unnoticed. Which follows with tantrums, arguments or a tiny human who’s just had enough. In our young humans they are in search of attention. For them any attention will do if caring, nurturing attention is not available.
How can we help support our children's emotional and spiritual bodies in maintaining health? It’s easy, simplify. In our modern world the division between children and adults has been blurred. Our children don’t need busy schedules filled with constant stimulation and planning. They crave space and freedom. Probably not too far off from your own cravings in life.
We’re able to follow our child’s needs and respond accordingly. Our daily routine includes the things our children need to learn and grow but we don’t obsess over it. There is always some time allotted for ourselves as parents and our own self care and growth.
One way to support this is with toys. The idea of a playroom is rather modern. And more harmful than beneficial. Start slowly if you must but aim to reduce the toys by as much as half (ideally more). There’s no need to “waste” them. Store them in a box and rotate as needed. Create a space that is uncluttered. One with lots of natural light and muted, natural colors. A small corner for books. Rather than heaps of toys are your child’s favorites.
By taking these actions we are creating not only a calming space but a space for our children to use their imagination and create works of their own to explore. We’re teaching them that life is not about obtaining more and better things. They learn new ways to play with favorite toys rather than needing more, new toys. Most importantly, your child is able to more easily live in the present moment, in the now.
Freedom. Our children need unscheduled, free time in their days. It allows them to learn to appreciate the ordinary. Boredom can be a gift as it forces us to think differently and create our own adventure. An adventure which will later shape their worldview. This also allows time for children to explore their own true interests. Something which can be lacking in the modern system of daycare and schooling. Following one’s own inclination of interests, and passions, creates a pattern of self exploration and discovery which will support them into adulthood.
Lastly, by insisting and modeling periods of rest we are teaching our children how to live balanced lives. The best gift we can bestow.
One last thing I challenge you to do is, create rhythm and ritual as a family unit with pockets of presence. Children thrive in rhythm. It’s just that our current rhythms, and schedules, have become too overbearing. Having a solid rhythm in your family allows children something to anticipate but also creates a strong sense of your family's identity. Which is why this is a challenge. For the actions that you choose will greatly impact how your child views what is normal and what creates a family unit. Be sure to include downtime (pocket of presence) and include them in the structuring of this rhythm. For example, in the evening before supper our son will feed the dog and let him outside. It’s small but it’s his task. It allows him to feel included and has an important role within the family unit. As he grows the tasks will change but, for now it suits us well.
I’m not sure where the source of this is, outside my own therapist, but children need fifteen minutes of uninterrupted attention daily. No phones, tv, screens. Just fifteen minutes engaging with them in their own play to feel cared for and supported. As I began practicing this myself it’s incredible the difference it made in the relationship with my children.
A reminder that pockets of presence do not look like day long, or even hour long, engagements but short periods of undivided attention. Allowing yourself to focus the mind on one thing, and one thing only.
Please considering supporting this blog and my work through purchasing a copy of my latest self published book, Energetics of Parenting.