How to Birth Connected with Feminine Power
Many years before entering motherhood, I became a reiki master. I loved exploring the intricacies and subtleties to the physical world around us. It wasn’t until motherhood that I experienced the full expansion of my feminine. Had I known how to use these underlying energetic currents to my benefit, I could have rode out my first postpartum with more grace. Being that I absorbed as much as I could in the years between my children’s birth, I can personally attest that this stuff here, is a game changer for new moms.
Pregnancy
The connection with our feminine essence is interrupted in pregnancy when we shift out of our body/intuition and into the head. Which is so easy to do. Our current societal structure is one of individualistic capitalism. There is perhaps no other time in our lives where we are marketed towards more than in pregnancy and early parenthood. Because for first time parents, we don’t know what we don’t know. And that results in us seeking information and validation from outside sources. We want to feel prepared and ready for a baby so we fall into their never-ending list of products. There is a product out there to replace almost every interaction and act of care/connection we would make with our child. Case in point, a bassinet that rocks and plays heartbeat to calm the baby to sleep.
All of these things. The logistics around finance, the never ending products, all take us away from the feminine essence.
What does it look like to be connected with the feminine in pregnancy? If we’re connected then we make decisions in accordance with our intuition. We’re asking the tough questions to our care providers to make the best, most informed decision for ourselves. Not making decisions because it’s what we’re told. When we’re connected with the feminine we know that everything our newborn will need is already within us. Minus a handful (like literally the number of products would fit on one hand) that we need. Newborns need warmth (blankets or clothes - way less than you’ve already bought), food (breastmilk or formula), and diapers (cloth or otherwise).
There's even an alternative for that through elimination communication. I like to have my birth clients think back to their grandparents. What did they have to do for the new baby? The basics. Everything else is extra. And they go way beyond necessity. So connect with your intuition. Ask yourself “is this product connecting me more deeply into motherhood?” If the answer is no, I recommend thinking critically about its function in your home. If it’s going to make things a little easier or helpful, that’s great! It might be worth it. But ultimately we want to be building secure attachments with our children in order for them, and us, to thrive.
One aspect of the feminine we haven’t touched on yet is receiving. The feminine likes to flow and be supported. Now, in pregnancy, is the time to begin this practice. It is one that will serve you greatly as you cross the threshold into motherhood. Begin to ask for your needs, practice taking time for yourself, and focus on you. Once baby arrives there are so many things shifting the first thing to go is often our own cares and needs. By practicing receiving support and care in pregnancy it will be less uncomfortable when it really counts. Trust me, when you’re on little sleep and aching for a fifteen minute break, you’ll want to be able to soak up those moments like a lamprey.
Labor
In labor we are disconnected from the feminine essence when we seek the input of others. It’s one thing to get advice or suggestions from our friends and care providers. It’s another to view them as law. In the United States we have given ultimate authority for our care, bodies and births to our providers. We have forgotten that the roles are reversed. We don’t owe the doctors anything at all. But rather, that they work for us. Greater than in pregnancy, in labor we tend to seek guidance from the outside. I know I did with my first birth. I wanted to know what contractions felt like, how I should position and move during labor. Heck, I know women who were even told how and when to push their babies out. All of this disconnects us from our feminine. Which is extremely potent during labor. There comes a time during every vaginal delivery when the woman must surrender. For many this occurs during transition. We labor to the point where we can’t labor any longer. The point which we let go. Our masculine hangs on until it physically can no longer. After surrender the energy that follows is feminine.
What does labor and birth connected with our feminine look like? For one, it’s in the surrender. We know that our bodies are wise; more wise than our mind. We trust that by surrendering to the contractions we are allowing our baby to be born to us.
When we labor within our feminine essence we are relaxed, calm and knowing.
When we labor in the feminine we drop out of our mind and fully into our body. We are connected with the wisdom of our womb, and those of the women before us. We call upon our ancestors, our guides, and helping spirits to hold us as we journey through the course of our labor.
To be connected with the feminine in birth is to be connected with source. I invite you to change your perspective. Labor is not a painful act of an opening cervix but a strong experience of opening a portal between worlds through which your child is born.
All birth is birth. So many motherhood groups and circles today try to differentiate with fancy labels and phrases to let them know “we’re different and distinct” “we’re not like a regular mom, we’re a crunchy mom”. Hey, everyone needs a circle. But, there is something to be said about physiological, uninterrupted birth. The best place for that to happen is in your own home.
Plus, postpartum doesn’t have to be interrupted. The mother-baby dyad can rest easy with greater success in breastfeeding and the mothers mental/emotional well being. My own experience in birthing unassisted, at home completely free of the medical system, forever changed my view on birth and how we treat the dyad after birth. The way I work with and support women on an intimate basis will never be the same surface level support.
The information above comes from my self published book Energetics of Parenting: A New Way of Being in Motherhood. You can purchase your copy by following the link.